The saddest part of growing up is realizing that many of the people you used to spend a possibly unreasonable amount of time with are no longer a big part of your life and probably won’t be anymore.
I’m one of those people who will try to maintain friendships of the past while looking forward to meeting new people. There’s a saying that I can’t quite remember right now that basically says that as important as new friends are to you now, the people you’ve known for a long time and who have been there for you before should still be valued. That’s something I truly do believe. At the same time, I’m also one of those people who will easily let go of a “friendship” if the other person does not put forth any effort. If you do not care and clearly want to move on to what you seem to believe are greener pastures, who am I to stop you and why should I be the only person trying in this situation? The world is constantly changing and the same applies to the relationships we have with people.
Does that mean I’m just going to be one hundred percent a-okay with the fact that someone I valued as a friend decided that either I or a group of us aren’t worth his or her time anymore? Obviously not. But it’s something we end up accepting whether or not we like it. The thing with friends is that you won’t like everything about them. Some of them are your friends, but you aren’t necessarily besties. You’ll complain about this or that, get in fights sometimes, have times when you don’t talk for a while just because you guys are busy with other things, but at the end of the day what makes a friendship is knowing the other person is always there in some way. When you cut off communication entirely, never accept invitations to go out, never express any sort of interest in other’s lives, you have essentially severed the supportive limb between you and the other person. And you have to admit that it’s kind of sad.
Personally, I don’t think that it is important that a friend replies to every single text as soon as I text them or finds everything I say interesting. Sure, it’s nice when they do, but it’s important to understand that people have things to do and different schedules. This is especially true as we grow older. As long as they are trying and I can see that they still care, I’m fine with it. If someone really does think you matter in their life, they will find time to spend with you in some fashion even if it’s just a little bit. But that doesn’t mean they have to always go out of their way to do it.
Some people might see my opinion and completely disagree with me. They might call what I see as okay as a lousy and lazy friendship. That’s completely fine. It’s what’s great about being different from each other! People end up having varied stances on things.
The entire point of why I wrote this comes down to two reasons. One is that this is something I am starting to have to face as I start to move away from my teenage years into my twenties (holy crap). The other reason? I hope that if anyone else out there is going through anything similar, you’ll take the time to think about your friendships and the way you deal with relationships. Perhaps reading this could plant a little seed of thought: maybe my relationship with some people aren’t ending, just changing (but not in a negative way) while some are actually ending, but that’s okay.
- Jenny
I’m one of those people who will try to maintain friendships of the past while looking forward to meeting new people. There’s a saying that I can’t quite remember right now that basically says that as important as new friends are to you now, the people you’ve known for a long time and who have been there for you before should still be valued. That’s something I truly do believe. At the same time, I’m also one of those people who will easily let go of a “friendship” if the other person does not put forth any effort. If you do not care and clearly want to move on to what you seem to believe are greener pastures, who am I to stop you and why should I be the only person trying in this situation? The world is constantly changing and the same applies to the relationships we have with people.
Does that mean I’m just going to be one hundred percent a-okay with the fact that someone I valued as a friend decided that either I or a group of us aren’t worth his or her time anymore? Obviously not. But it’s something we end up accepting whether or not we like it. The thing with friends is that you won’t like everything about them. Some of them are your friends, but you aren’t necessarily besties. You’ll complain about this or that, get in fights sometimes, have times when you don’t talk for a while just because you guys are busy with other things, but at the end of the day what makes a friendship is knowing the other person is always there in some way. When you cut off communication entirely, never accept invitations to go out, never express any sort of interest in other’s lives, you have essentially severed the supportive limb between you and the other person. And you have to admit that it’s kind of sad.
Personally, I don’t think that it is important that a friend replies to every single text as soon as I text them or finds everything I say interesting. Sure, it’s nice when they do, but it’s important to understand that people have things to do and different schedules. This is especially true as we grow older. As long as they are trying and I can see that they still care, I’m fine with it. If someone really does think you matter in their life, they will find time to spend with you in some fashion even if it’s just a little bit. But that doesn’t mean they have to always go out of their way to do it.
Some people might see my opinion and completely disagree with me. They might call what I see as okay as a lousy and lazy friendship. That’s completely fine. It’s what’s great about being different from each other! People end up having varied stances on things.
The entire point of why I wrote this comes down to two reasons. One is that this is something I am starting to have to face as I start to move away from my teenage years into my twenties (holy crap). The other reason? I hope that if anyone else out there is going through anything similar, you’ll take the time to think about your friendships and the way you deal with relationships. Perhaps reading this could plant a little seed of thought: maybe my relationship with some people aren’t ending, just changing (but not in a negative way) while some are actually ending, but that’s okay.
- Jenny
This post was originally published on Sunshine + Light Bulbs. View the original post here.